AJ Schneider is a Financial Freedom Coach and the founder of Beyond the Green Coaching. AJ helps her clients improve their relationship with money, build wealth, get out of debt and become financially free so they can take control of their future.
AJ was inspired to start Beyond the Green after pulling herself out of debt and transforming her own money mindset.
In this episode, AJ joins me to talk about how you can heal your relationship with money, shift your money mindset and create your dream life without worrying about debt.
In this episode AJ and I also discuss:
- AJ’s mission in the world 2:02
- AJ’s story and how she started Beyond the Green 3:38
- Why people struggle with emotional spending 10:15
- Identifying your beliefs around money 14:52
- The first step to healing your relationship with money 20:36
- Being prepared for unexpected changes in life 22:27
Connect with AJ:
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegreencoaching/?hl=en
Website | https://www.beyondthegreencoaching.com/
Podcast | https://www.beyondthegreencoaching.com/podcast
Debt & Savings Bundle | https://www.beyondthegreencoaching.com/debt-and-savings-bundle
Use Code KICKSTART34 for 34% off plus one 34 minute 1:1 session
Connect with Danielle:
Website | Kickstart Accounting
Facebook | Kickstart Accounting Inc. – Home | Facebook
Instagram | Kickstart Accounting, Inc. (@kickstartaccounting) • Instagram photos and videos
Twitter | Kickstart Accounting Inc. (@KickstartAcct) / Twitter
Book your FREE Discovery call: https://kickstartaccountinginc.com/book-a-call/
Test your Financial Health: https://kickstartaccountinginc.com/checkmyfinancialhealth/
Learn how to pay yourself as a CEO – https://www.kickstartaccountinginc.com/getpaid
Full Episode Transcript:
Intro 0:00
Welcome to entrepreneur money stories, the podcast for women entrepreneurs who want to dig into their money stories so they can break free from limiting beliefs around money once and for all. Hosted by Danielle Hayden, owner of kickstart accounting, Inc. This podcast is a series of real conversations about money mindset with valuable and action packed takeaways for the entrepreneur who’s building their abundant empire. Danielle is a reformed corporate CFO who’s on a mission to help real freakin female entrepreneurs understand their numbers and gain the confidence to create sustainable profits. And now here’s your host, Danielle Hayden.
Danielle 0:39
Welcome to entrepreneur money stories. Today we have AJ on the show, AJ was a starving yogi who was always just getting by chronically the poor friend, and in constant fear around her debt. AJ dreamed of being a successful entrepreneur. But her brain was too focused on her anxiety about debt and was stuck in that hustle mentality. Come on. We’ve all been there. We know how this goes. By focusing on getting her personal finances in check, and building wealth, retirement and paying down bad debt. AJ hits more space to focus on her passion helping women achieve their dreams in 2018, AJ started a small private coaching, finance coaching practice. Now AJ has helped over 300 clients and has three coaches under her doing the same Aj is passionate about helping small businesses ditch the burnout. By having realistic conversations around money. He has turned her small private practice into a six figure business and is on a mission to help other women do the same. This episode today has so many goodies on emotional spending and finding the balance in our business and personal finances. So here is my conversation with AJ.
Welcome to entrepreneur money stories.
AJ 2:02
Thank you so much for having me, Danielle, I’m honored to be here. Yeah, I’m
Danielle 2:05
I’m really excited for this episode. Maybe you can tell the listeners just a little bit about your mission in the world today and a little bit how we got here. I know you have a very inspirational story. So tell us a little bit about that.
AJ 2:19
Sure. My mission in the world right now. Ha i This feels like a heavy question only because I’ve been becoming a mom and like 10 weeks and Okay, so
Danielle 2:29
your big mission in the world might be changing a little bit. You know,
AJ 2:33
I think it only fuels the passion and inspiration that the majority of the people that we know and love are not equipped to handle unexpected life inevitable, ie emergencies retire. And I’m completely not okay with that. And I have seen firsthand, and I’ll get into that with my own story, the consequences of not being financially stable on individual self confidence and self worth, but also on the family structure. And it’s completely avoidable. And it’s completely unacceptable. So that is my mission in the world.
Danielle 3:18
Oh, I love that. Unacceptable. I have been really talking a lot lately about taking responsibility, like how we take responsibility for ourselves as individuals, but then also business owners. So I really like that. Tell us a little bit about your background. How did you come to this space?
AJ 3:38
Yes. So I had nothing to do with money up until I was like, I mean, I had, you know, I was an entrepreneur at 13. I was babysitting, I was the only babysitter who had business cards. I was like, pretty busy working multiple weekends, nights and during the week and I loved it. And I loved making my own money and being independent. But when it came to spending, it was gone. I never saved and I just thought that’s kind of how money was. I thought money was just kind of this thing that’s in and out. I grew up believing that money was very conditional. I was like very young when I knew the price of things like I would be like I know how much sleepaway camp is and like, I know how much this Barbie doll is and like very inappropriate information for like a four and six year old to know. Money was used definitely as a tool to manipulate and control growing up and it was very unstable. So I always believed that you had money and then you didn’t have money. And that was just normal for everybody. And I also grew up in New York City, where I was around such well that I thought you had to be exorbitantly wealthy, in order to be 60 You had to be like the thing like the doctor, the owner of a shop, the business owner to be really successful or you were not successful and Then I through a slew of life circumstances that we don’t have to totally dive into. I thought I wanted to be an actress realized after college, I didn’t want to be an actress at all, and kind of went on this like quarter life crisis and backpacked through Asia and lived abroad for two and a half years and learned about unconditional love and realize that there were other metrics to success beyond financial. And then I came back home, and I did full time yoga in New York City for three, four years, all the while in $71,000 worth of student loan credit card, family debt, on file taxes, all trying to make it as like this yoga business. I really, really treated my business like business to the best that I could beyond the incredible chronic burnout and the complete misinformation of how to run a business, the amount of hours I spent making absolutely no money making decisions that were just like, yeah, if you do this, there’s potential that you could potentially get in a thing. You know, that kind of work. For two hours to four hours, I spent writing a newsletter that no one would read, hoping that this house would somehow grow my business and all the mistakes that I learned from that first business. And one of the things that I would love to dive into later is that I realized that like, as much as I loved my business, and I was so passionate about teaching yoga, I could not afford to pay my rent. And so I had to get a job that wasn’t teaching yoga. And once I got over the ego, every day that I showed up for waitressing I was like, I get to do this so that I can do my job. So I could really give so much more to my students. I’m so much less desperate.
Danielle 6:52
And I became such a better teacher beautiful turn of mindset,
AJ 6:55
I became such a better teacher. Gotcha, better teacher because I had that financial cushion that I knew that waitressing could cover my basic bills. And then yoga could be this thing that I grew organically with time. And then they’re basically Sorry, just backtracking really quickly, like how do I get to where I am today? Yeah, that I had been avoiding all the debt, no savings, living this kind of New York City, single girl traveling the world, but just like always getting by. And I finally just hit this wall at 26, where I was realizing that like my friends were starting to get engaged. And like, my grandparents were getting older. And like, this magical check of $71,000 ish, was never going to arrive in the mail. Like I genuinely would open the mailbox thinking like, I was do a check. And it never came. And I was like, Oh, I’m the one who’s responsible for getting my finances in order, even if someone gave me misinformation and put me in a bad situation like I am the one who’s responsible going back to what you were saying before we started, you know, and I luckily had an aunt who I realized looking around that people were around me weren’t actually good with money. And I had this aunt who I knew was she knew she was managing my grandparents finances and I was like, What is a budget? Can you help me? Can you call Can you help me call debt collectors and not make sweeping generalizations about my finances then? And then I don’t like to be successful . Can you help me be successful at this? And so I started budgeting and what ended up happening is that everything in my life started to improve all my relationships, I was more present, I had more gratitude. And I was able to see how I was treating money exactly how I was treating myself. I wasn’t showing love or respect or trust in myself. And therefore I was attracting men who didn’t love respect and trust me either. And so when I realized that money could be this amazing vehicle for change in so many other areas, I kind of dove in and I was really insulated, for a very short period of time when I was getting my finances in order. I was attracted to my husband, who budgeted and forecasted at that point at that time in his career for living. Kind of destiny. Yeah. We went we went to sleepaway camp together, we were childhood crushes and and when he like saw my budget, he basically like says I like was like JK Rowling, like writing on napkins, like budgeting that napkins. And so he helped me kind of like, make it a little bit more professional, make it a little bit more sustainable and not so manual. And that’s the budget I still give my clients today. It’s advanced slightly, but when I moved to DC to be with him, I was like, I don’t want to teach yoga anymore. I don’t even really like that I don’t even have practice anymore. I’ve been giving it all away. I’m done waiting. You’re saying, you know, most of the bad debt is gone. And I’m like, I think I want to do this budgeting thing. And so that was 2018. And I started small, I got a full time job so I can grow the business. And then when the pandemic hit, I went full force, and I haven’t looked back.
Danielle 10:15
That’s great. I want to touch on a few things you said in there. But I want to specifically touch on, you mentioned that the way you were treating money was the way that you were treating yourself. And then in turn, was what you are attracting in your journey, right, or of overcoming that. What do you think that is? Why do you think that that happens? We have a lot of clients that we’ve worked with throughout the years that struggle with emotional spending. And I’m wondering if it’s tied to that emotional spending piece?
AJ 10:48
Oh, that’s such a good question. My initial thought is the power of frequency. So we transact every day, whether we’re swiping our card, or we’re not spending any money, but we’re have a roof over our head, we have a phone, we have, you know, our vitamin subscription that what popped in, you know, we’re constantly transacting, and if we have a negative association with money, in any capacity, feeling guilty, that you have money, feeling ashamed, feeling resentful anger, and you’re transacting every day, you’re just like, deepening those neural pathways that tell you, you should continue to be resentful continue to be ashamed continue to feel guilty. So that’s the one that’s one piece that it’s so frequent. The other piece is that we live in a very instantly gratifying world, it’s so accessible to avoid emotional discomfort, and we will do anything in our power to avoid emotional discomfort. There’s a reason why sales work, I mean, sales are taking our most primal natural instinct to survive. And making you feel that if you don’t have these Lululemon shorts, like, you’re not going to be the person that you say you are in the world, and you must go be that person. And so I think the massive lack of awareness of sell, is a huge cause of why we don’t understand our relationship with money, because there’s nothing about money, even though it’s the most material thing on the planet money’s motional, the way we treat money is emotional, we’re triggered, we’re lonely, we’re burned out, we’re fearful, you feel less than what during your
Danielle 12:37
The journey created the transformation. Right? So it was it, the building the budgets? Was it adhering to the budget? What about the like, specifically helped you heal in that journey?
AJ 12:51
So the first piece that I like has to be acknowledged is that I really believed that if I fixed myself, first, I would attract the life that I want. So I spent years studying myself, deepening my spiritual awareness with yoga and meditation and that whole practice, thinking that if I kept working inwards, I would get results. And what was so powerful about money is that it’s like immediate, you start budgeting and you immediately have savings. And you immediately have paid off that first month of your debt repayment plan. And you’re like, Whoa, so that just really happened. And then it’s just kind of like, if you continue on that path, you just keep getting forward momentum. And it like does not stop, you know, like, that’s why we can see such tremendous transformation from clients so quickly, because once you start and you’re committed to the work, so to answer your question, I was committed, I was unwilling to give up, nothing could deter me from sticking to my budget, nothing could nothing except for things completely out of my control could get me off of my path. And even when I had really awful days, which there were many, I would get back on my path. And I would get back into budgeting. And I think the most radical thing was that I am a, you know, a people pleaser. And I was saying no, for the first time in my life, and I just felt this sense every time I said no to something. I was saying yes to myself, I felt like I was pulling back all the power I’ve given away by being a people pleaser, and needing to be validated through other people’s existence. I felt like I was just bringing back that energy. To myself. Why do you think the
Danielle 14:44
budgeting creates such a transformation? Like why do you think it is about making the plan now you have a lot of conviction? Or I feel like I don’t hear that all the time. I hear a lot of people say I built a budget. I put it in the binder somewhere. I say John My desktop I filed it away. But it sounds like you had a lot of conviction around it. So what I’m thinking is how do we convince the person? Right? So how can we speak to the person who maybe created a budget back, you know, the beginning of the year, and they found it away? Maybe they hit, they missed a number in January, maybe February, they missed two numbers. And so it was painful. So they stopped looking at it. How did you create that conviction around the budget? So how can we get that person who hasn’t looked at it? To get back to that, like, what is the transformation in the budget?
AJ 15:40
I mean, if you and I can figure this out, then like, my whole marketing is solved because I, I don’t know. I can give some guesses. It feels so fucking good. I hope I’m allowed to curse you and bleep me out. It feels so fucking good to go into a store and swipe your card knowing you can afford it. Like I can’t describe, I still get a high from going into and getting like the Bougie of coffee I want and like a loaded sweet greens are loaded Chipotle and sitting on the train to New York. Like I get a high from that hole. It’s so simple. Like, I’m just getting lunch, and a booty coffee. And I’m just going to New York, but I used to take the bus from DC to New York, because that was so much more in my budget than ever thinking that I could take the train. And I just did this. Hi, like, I can afford this. Like I can afford this life I can afford my life. And, and I think my conviction came from I knew So fundamentally, I was not living the life that I wanted to be living. I wanted to feel successful in my career. I wanted to feel in control, I wanted to have better relationships, I wanted to be more present. I wanted to find the love of my life. I wanted to have babies, like I wanted to get married, like those were non negotiables for me, and I was like, if I don’t do something now, it’s never gonna happen. And I talk about this a lot with my clients about thinking about that 10 Year version of yourself, which is really difficult. But I was so inspired by her, I want it to be her so badly. And I’m six years in and I literally have the life that I planted seeds for six years ago, I never could have had this life had I not started them.
Danielle 17:41
That’s beautiful. What are some strategies that you use with your clients to start to think about healing their relationship with money or like What is something you think it’s really important, as people invest their time into listening to any any podcast that they have some action steps that they can walk away with right now. So what are some action steps that somebody can take to start to heal their relationship with money, or go back to that budget, or maybe build that budget for the first time.
AJ 18:11
So we don’t even touch money for the first few. If we’re working privately with you for the first month to month and a half. We don’t even touch money. In my program. We don’t touch money until week three, it’s a 10 week intensive. Because we first focus on you. So the first step is identifying your beliefs and your wounds about money. So where do they come from? What is Your Money Story? So we have everybody do this exercise, your money story where you look at your life in the lens of money, like what are your first memories with money? What are the first teachings like did you have money trauma, did something happen in high school and middle school and college? Like, what were those experiences like for you? Did anybody really shape or influence your beliefs around money? And then I have them dive into their parents’ relationship with money, because the number one thing I hear from prospective clients is my parents never taught me. And I always respond back. Well, I don’t, I don’t always respond back. I wait until they’re like, Okay, I’m invested in you, because it’s kind of a bit provocative. And I said, I say your parents never taught you how to have sex and you figured it out. So I mean, you wanted it bad enough to figure out how to have sex, right? So you figured it out, like, you’re in your 20s, you’re in your 30s, you’re in your 40s, you’re in your 50s. I hear this no matter what age and I’m saying I say you if you wanted it bad enough, you would figure it out. Now, I say that knowing it is extremely overwhelming. The first when you type in how to get my finances in order, you’re sent a bunch of investment. That’s what
Danielle 19:42
drew me to you is that you are not working with somebody’s investments. You’re not an investment banker, you’re not a financial adviser. You are really working as a finance coach, and that’s what drew me to you is that we’re not just looking at well give me your money so I can. That’s it someplace, right?
AJ 20:01
Yeah, I’m like, I honestly like I, when I’m in the budget with my clients, I’m like, you won’t be paying me one day like, I don’t want you to pay me forever. I’m like, I want you to take that money. You’re used to paying me and go and do either put it towards debt repayment or into savings, investment, retirement, I’m like, We’ll be done soon. You know, I want what I want, because one of my missions is that independence, like, I don’t need, I don’t want you to feel like you. Let me ask AJ first, I mean, for a little bit, sure. But not for not for years and years, I want you to have autonomy in your life and feel in control. And like you, you know, your shit. So that’s the first piece we work on the money wound. And then we practice the seven financial principles to heal your relationship with money. And it starts with acknowledging money wounds, acknowledging, oh, wow, my parents were horrible with money, or my parents were so afraid of money, or they felt so guilty. Of course, they couldn’t teach me about money. And then the next year is we except when we say I am in debt, I have no savings. I have $2 million, sitting in an investment account that I don’t touch because I feel so guilty. I accept my reality. I take ownership, accountability and responsibility for my reality. That’s the acceptance of the second A. And then we have to practice forgiveness. I forgive my parents, I forgive my school system, I forgive that job. I forgive that manager, I forgive that friend who made me feel bad for going not having student loan debt. I forgive myself, the number one reason why people want to aggressively pay off credit card debt is because they feel ashamed. They’re in credit card debt. And they think if they pay that off, they will not feel the shame. And they don’t want to save, they don’t want to think long term, they just gotta pay off that debt, because that’s a clean slate, and then they will never feel ashamed again. Well, guess what you will shame Bob,
Danielle 22:03
you’re what made you get into debt, you’re just gonna go back into debt in the first place. I’ve heard that several times from clients that there was a focus on getting out of debt, but they didn’t realize why they were going into debt and spending money in the first place. So they went back into debt.
AJ 22:16
Yeah, or they had no savings. And then the unexpected happened, which always happens, because your dog’s gonna get sick, your car is gonna break down, your H vac system is going to fail. You can’t predict everything that happens in life, but you can be prepared for it. So once you’ve forgiven, and that is like a really tough one, it can be like a, it’s like, once you do it, it’s, well, it’s like, the weight of the world is off your shoulders. But it’s really easier said than done, then you can start letting go, letting go of control. You know, it’s so funny when people in the DMS message me, and they tell me their strategy, and they tell me what they’re doing. And I’m like, I am like a wealth of knowledge. Like, I have been in hundreds and hundreds of budgets. I don’t know everything, but I’m very aware of what I don’t know. And I could tell I could give you advice, if you would just stop telling me what you think, you know. And let me just ask myself a question. You know, it’s like that, it’s just let go of control, let go of feeling you need to know it, that you need to fix it, that you made this mess and you have to clean it up. So that you can start receiving, and you can start getting the support that you actually need from the people who can actually help you. It’s like, why wouldn’t you go to a tax professional? And why wouldn’t you go to a financial planner? Like this is their job? Why are you trying? Like, why are you patting yourself on the back that you did your taxes? Like, go pay the $300? And get someone who’s a professional to do it? Like who cares? You know, like, where’s that like, just receive, get the support that you need, talk to your vet, you know, this is a huge error. We won’t even get into this without talking to your family about their situation with money.
Danielle 24:14
I do what I do for a living and I still don’t talk to my parents, but
AJ 24:18
I’m sure there’s, I mean, there’s a lot to unpack there. But then once you can start to receive you can really start to show up in the world. And that’s really so when you asked me like what was it about budgeting that like was it for me it was that I showed up? I showed up every single week. I mean, I was a daily budgeter at first but now I’m not. That took a few years to wean off. But I showed up every day with my budget like I was there in it, like looking at the numbers making sure I felt safe. For years. I just showed up
Danielle 24:50
like creates the same safety. I think when we can start to look at our numbers. It feels right, it feels wrong, but we don’t. We know it doesn’t feel natural, it doesn’t feel normal. And so I love that you had this daily practice until it became a habit and became something that was normal and accepted. I just really love your commitment, do any other action steps that you can think of, for someone who is really struggling with debt, maybe in their business or their personal life. We talked to mostly business owners here, but every single business owner has a personal life. I think we forget that as business owners, we probably aren’t paying a whole lot of attention to our personal lives right now. Yeah, we’re investing everything we have both blood, sweat, tears and money into our business. And so what do we say to that person? Who is not thinking about their, their, their personal finances and maybe struggling and debt?
AJ 25:44
Yeah. Okay, I just want to back up real quick. Yeah. And then go into that, because I have a lot of a lot to say about that. The last piece that you have to embody, both as business owner and personal one, is gratitude. It’s like the antidote to how uncomfortable you’re about to feel when you go into your finances. And so I’ll go into the business stuff, because I Okay, I have a lot to say here. The first thing that I see is that people love to feel like they’re setting up their business. So they get an LLC. And they spend months making a product, an eBook, a course, a this so that they’re like, I’m determined, I’m doing this. And then they have no revenue. Because no one wants their products. And no one gives a shit, but they have an LLC or not. Yep. What is an LLC? Like? Who gives a shit that you have an LLC? Like? Are you someone that is going to get sued for what you do, and you need the extra liability to protect you, against someone suing you. If not, then in your first year of business, you probably don’t need an LLC, you know, an LLC is just a tax. It’s just a tax differentiator. And it’s like, it’s like, I need to build the website. And beyond the green started without a website. We’re becoming Incorporated, we are becoming incorporated this year. Only because I have a 1099 smell. I actually have a staff, so I hire people to help me. And we’re bringing in enough revenue where it makes sense people like to start with things that make them feel like they’re in business. But really what it comes down to is like, Do you have something that people need? And is it going to sell? And is it enough money? Are you going to make enough money that you can support your entire lifestyle off of that money?
Danielle 27:45
Absolutely, yeah, I think we can get stuck in a cycle of doing rather than what else is on the to do list. Wow.
AJ 27:56
And hey, I am the same, I love getting the small fires done, like oh, I’ll just send this email, oh, I’ll just fix this thing in Kajabi. Oh, I just want to make a quick Instagram post, because it feels like it’s fueling that Instagram, that instant gratification that I’m moving forward in my business. But what I really need is to delegate all of that, and focus on how I’m going to scale and grow this business. And every decision that I have made in my business has come from a financial lens. Personally, I was unwilling to invest more than 30% of the revenue from beyond the green back into beyond the green for a while, because I spent years paying off debt and saving what I could. And I was like, I need to make sure I’m secure first, that I have the salary that I need to support my lifestyle before I go and start investing back into the business. So at the top of the year, I looked at my husband and I was like, I think I want to invest like 60% back into the business. And he’s like, work out the numbers, you know, see, like, see what that would mean? Like, what would that be, what would you be investing in? It’s like, I remember having this conversation with a business friend. And I was like, I’m so frustrated. Why don’t small businesses like startup businesses come and talk to me first? Why is it so hard to get them to see the value of getting their personal finances in order to support their business? And she was like, where the product every person is selling to us all the time to small business owners. Get your marketing figured out, take this course, have this bit you have to have a business course. You have to be in the inner circle. You need to be in this room, get in the room, get in the room, it’s $20,000 Get in the room, and you’re being sold all the time and you’re like okay, but you’re not making these systems from a financial place. You’re not saying, Oh, if I take $20,000, what is that coming out of my business? How much is that out of my business? And then how does that affect my lifestyle spending?
Danielle 30:13
And I think we can tie that right back to the emotional spending, what was the emotion really behind you spending that money, because that’s probably tied to wanting to be included, being scared that you’re not going to succeed, rather than really actually needing that tool or that, that that training. So there’s, there’s so many ways that our, our, our emotions tie into those business purchases, which then create us making irresponsible choices for our personal finances.
AJ 30:44
Exactly. I spoke to someone recently, who told me they took out a $100,000 business loan that they plan to pay off in 30 years, it was like a 30. year it was basically, it was basically like a mortgage. And it was to, they invest it into their business. But when you’re taking such a large sum of money from a lender, you need to have a plan on how you’re going to triple if not quadruple that money in a very specific time. So that you could pay that back, paying off 100 grand in 30 years, with no return on investment. It’s not like you get equity at the end of it. It is not a great use of the pool of financial resources that you can have.
Danielle 31:35
I guess let’s touch on emotionally. What do you think it is emotionally that drove that decision?
AJ 31:42
I think entrepreneurs were very passionate. We really believe in what we’re doing. Right? Otherwise, like, what are we doing, we might as well just go sell Tesla’s but we love and believe in our product and our services so much that we’re kind of betting on ourselves, which absolutely has to happen. And there’s also a huge space in the entrepreneurial world where they’re very into the law of attraction, and they’re very into money just flows in when I gotta spend money to make money. There’s all these like, belief systems as entrepreneurs, I remember when I was a yoga instructor, I was like, I have to spend $300 a month on fitness, I need to be in the scene, like I need to be out there doing these things. Like no one cared that I was a yoga instructor going to flywheel like, but I had the you know, we have these like these things. And I think so. I think it’s better. I think the emotionality is, oh, I have good credit, I have a good credit score. I am not very financially literate, but they’re telling me I can borrow this money. Wow. If I had 100 grand, what would I do with the business? I’m betting on myself. Let’s just go do it. We’ll figure it out later. We’ll figure it out later.
Danielle 32:59
What do you do today to keep your money mindset strong and be conscientious of that emotional spending?
AJ 33:08
I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, because I was like, when did I stop stressing about debt. And I was like, when was that? Like, like, not a thing anymore. And it’s been a while and, and then I also it’s so funny. My husband and I, I just feel so much less stressed about money than he does. And he’s had a stable career, his entire career has never been poured in his life, like has never had 15 cents in his bank account, like, and I just am like, I don’t have any. I just don’t feel worried. And I think one of the reasons kind of going in that same vein, if I bet on myself, is that, like, I’ve proven myself now for the last four years that I can support myself financially, like doing what I love. So I’m like, okay, that’s pretty encouraging. I think having like a really robust emergency fund, having retirement, having assets, like having all those things in place, knowing like, oh, that piece, and then also knowing that if, let’s say, in August, when I like come back, full speed ahead, you know, from maternity leave, I don’t want to, or it’s going to take time, maybe there’s some momentum, maybe I’m like designing something, maybe I’m not so full force, like launching into another course. And I’m not getting this surge of income and business. I know how to scale down. I know how to budget. I just have this. I know how to budget, I know what we can afford. I know how long our money can last us. I just have so much confidence in what I already have. And I have so much competence that like all the systems I’ve set up have enabled me to be successful for longer than a month. You know, you’ll see on Instagram, someone’s like you want to make $5,000 a month, sell two products for $2,500 and get two people and you’re good. And I’m like it for me If that wasn’t, that wasn’t and that wasn’t good enough for me. I was like, Let’s do six month payment plans, let’s do nine month payment plans. Let’s get clients with six month commitments, you know, like, I set it up so that I could have more time to feel secure. So I can spend more time thinking about the next step.
Danielle 35:21
Thank you for sharing all that. I really appreciate it acknowledging how not just we feel about finances, but acknowledging how our spouses, our kids, our employees, or contractors, we all are coming to this with a money mindset. And so I think I appreciate you sharing that, that your money mindset doesn’t have to be your spouse’s, and finding what works for you guys as a partnership as well, and how we don’t have to let what their money mindset is impact our money mindset.
AJ 35:53
Yeah, but we have to be respectful. And that’s such a big piece of that as well. Because if I, my husband and I budget together, like if I went off and just did, if I, if I made a business decision, if I wanted to go dumped $20,000 into a program, and I didn’t consult him like that would be that would be so disrespectful, because, and I think this is something that comes up with small businesses, where you think you’re in the silo, and you have to make all these decisions yourself. And I do know a lot of small businesses who are very communicative with their partners, but like, every decision I make in the business is a family decision, because it’s a family business, and we rely on my income to support us.
Danielle 36:35
Yeah, it’s a great way to reframe that. That’s awesome. Is there anything that I haven’t asked you today that you wish I would have, or anything that you want to leave the audience with?
AJ 36:44
Yeah, so I want to kind of we tapped into this a little bit, but I kind of want to re emphasize something about my story, which was that I was willing to take another job to build my business, and I did the whole, I’m going to start a business and try and make it work thing and not understand how my personal finances work. And that didn’t work for me. So what has worked for me is my understanding of my own personal finances, and making my expected salary and non negotiable, I have been able to steadily grow my business. And I get moments where like, you see things on social media, where you’re like, wow, in 10 months, you made 100 grand, and now you’re a seven figure business in like a year, like, Wow, that’s amazing. And the ego certainly gets the I certainly feel it. But I know that when I then went beyond the green, which is so much bigger than just me, at this point it makes it quote unquote, air quotes. If you’re listening, I will look like an overnight success. They’ll be like, oh, this person appeared out of nowhere, and it just happened for them. It’s like, no, it didn’t and I’ve made choices. Maybe I could have invested more into the business, maybe I could have, you know, not taken a month off after my wedding and not gone on a, you know, a two week vacation. And I could have worked every day 365 days and like really grown this business. But like, I wanted to live my life. Like the whole point of earning money was that i i When I was a yoga instructor, I thought that my whole life’s purpose was to heal others at the sacrifice of my own healing and my own self. And I don’t feel that way about the green, I have this incredible service that has helped hundreds and hundreds of people. I’m so passionate about it. I talk about it every single day. And it does not define me. My life defines me, my choices define me, my family, my friends, my dog, my husband, getting to be at my best friend’s wedding, officiating their wedding, being at my best friend’s grandfather’s funeral. Like those things define me and my business. And I will always keep pushing towards the life I want, not just the business I want.
Danielle 39:19
Good reminder, mic, job.
AJ 39:22
Mic dropped that out.
Danielle 39:27
Somebody said that to me recently, you know, how often do we start a conversation with somebody with what do you do? What’s your business? What do you do and a reminder of we are more than our businesses, right? We we are we are people and we can go beyond that. So thank you for that beautiful reminder, where can the audience stay in touch with you and learn more about you and your coaching? So you can
AJ 39:49
find us on the worldwide web at WWW. beyond the green coaching.com. If you type in beyond the green I imagine you will find a golf course so It’s definitely coaching. We’re really heavily on Instagram until April 30. You will be hearing from me in the DMS. We’re very engaged. We love talking to people in the DMS. And then we have like a very, very small Tech Talk that we’re growing and expanding. But that’s one of the places that you can find us. You can also email me at hello at beyond the green coaching.com. And we have our own podcast. Everybody’s bad with money and season three is going to air sometime in the spring.
Danielle 40:32
That’s great. Awesome. Thank you so much for being here. Appreciate it.
AJ 40:35
Thank you so much for having me, Danielle.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
