Today, Victoria joins me to talk about why it’s so important to set clear boundaries as an entrepreneur and why you should get better at saying “no.” We’re also explaining the five types of boundaries that someone can have in their business.
Join us in this episode to learn more about how you can set your own boundaries within your business, team and finances.
In this episode Victoria and I also discuss:
- Finding your non-negotiables 8:06
- Setting boundaries for your team 9:06
- How to be clear when it comes to setting boundaries 13:56
- Questions to ask yourself with clients and boundaries 16:33
- Financial boundaries and emotional spending 20:31
Mentioned in this Episode:
EP 85 – Recognizing the 5 Categories of Emotional Spending
EP 79 – Forget Goals! Create Intentions and Measure Your Success in these Definitive Ways throughout the Year
Connect with Danielle:
Website | Kickstart Accounting
Facebook | Kickstart Accounting Inc. – Home | Facebook
Instagram | Kickstart Accounting, Inc. (@kickstartaccounting) • Instagram photos and videos
Twitter | Kickstart Accounting Inc. (@KickstartAcct) / Twitter
Book your FREE Discovery call: https://kickstartaccountinginc.com/book-a-call/
Test your Financial Health: https://kickstartaccountinginc.com/checkmyfinancialhealth/
Learn how to pay yourself as a CEO – https://www.kickstartaccountinginc.com/getpaid
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to entrepreneur money stories, the podcast for women entrepreneurs who want to dig into their money stories so they can break free from limiting beliefs around money once and for all. Hosted by Danielle Hayden, owner of kickstart accounting, Inc. This podcast is a series of real conversations about money mindset with valuable and action packed takeaways for the entrepreneur who's building their abundant empire. Danielle is a reformed corporate CFO who's on a mission to help real freakin female entrepreneurs understand their numbers and gain the confidence to create sustainable profits. And now here's your host, Danielle Hayden.
Welcome back to entrepreneur money stories. We have Victoria here again today. Victoria, thank you so much for joining me on the show.
Yeah, thank you for having me back. Again.
I'm really excited for this episode and night to realize I start every episode that way. But I really do get excited and passionate about this content. And this episode is near and dear to my heart. Today, we're going to be talking about the boundaries in business. And I do hear my leadership team chuckling a little bit in the background every time I talk about this, because I am not always the best at holding boundaries. However, I think it's something that we can all be a work in progress on. And I don't know if I've shared this on the show before or not. But my word of the year for 2023 was no, I share that with you, Victor. I think
you did at the very beginning of the year.
Okay. So it was intentional, right? It was intentional to have boundaries. So I get really excited and I am on the Kolbe, I am the Kolbe of personality tests that we use here at kickstart. And on the Kolbe, I am a quick start. And so when somebody asked me, if I want to go somewhere, or I want to do something, I was like, Yes, that sounds awesome. Let's do it. All right.
Yeah. And I get a little chuckle every time you say that you're a quick start, because like No wonder you named your accounting firm kickstart like
That was all Gianna, but you know, I think a lot of us as entrepreneurs have a lot of that Quickstart in us. And it's really easy and natural for us to get excited and want to say yes, and get excited in a lot of different ways, right? We want to pour into our clients and, and a lot of us are doing what we do, because we want to help people. And so we say yes to helping our clients, a lot of our listeners are hiring and bringing on new contractors and employees and team members. And so you naturally want to say yes to helping them. And I know you're guilty of this, too.
Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of places where this comes into play. And a lot of it goes down to just being so excited to get things done.
Yeah, absolutely. We have a lot of quickstarts on the team that I think we get an idea of. And we get really excited and we want to get it done and get it done quickly.
Yeah, we want to do everything and we want to do it right now.
Yeah, I wanted to do it yesterday. But I have to start to say no to things. And because I'm a natural, yes, I really needed a reminder to say no, right? Like my natural answer needs to be no. And then once I've thought about it, and I've calmed down, and I've let the kind of the initial excitement, the initial high of whatever it might be subside, then I can decide what I'm saying yes to or no to align with what my intention was for the year. And so we're gonna keep on talking about intentions all through 2023. Because this is how we guide all of our financial decisions, all of our business decisions are based on the intention that we set at the beginning of the year. If you're not sure what we're talking about, scroll back in your podcast app and listen to our intention setting episode. So we did not set new year's resolutions, we set intentions for the year. And so this might be your year that you are spending more time with your family. And so that might mean that we're saying no to more business activities or travel for business because we need to say yes to our family. This might be a high growth year for you. So we need to say let's say no to more family events so that we can say yes to more business activities that are moving our business forward, no right or wrong answer here. But we wanted to walk through because we know that this is something that we've watched so many of our clients climb through this giant hurdle. We wanted to give some guidelines in which we've seen our clients use in order to help them maintain boundaries in their businesses. So Victoria, maybe you can walk us through, you know What are the five types of boundaries that somebody could have in their, in their business? Just like, overall? What are the big types of boundaries that somebody could have? Yeah, of
course. So starting out, you're gonna have your physical boundaries, your when and where you work, those physical things, and then moving into your emotional or mental boundaries and setting up those things that are going to kind of like, protect your peace, those sorts of boundaries, time boundaries, I think this is a big one for entrepreneurs, your topic boundaries, kind of what you're going to talk about, especially in business, what you're going to advise your clients on, and then your non negotiable boundaries, this is going to be anything that like this, you cannot cross that boundary at all.
Yeah, these all play together, right? So our physical boundaries, deciding where and when, and how you communicate, right? Like, that's, that's your physical boundary, which is going to help protect and set the guidelines for your mental and emotional boundary. So our mental and emotional boundaries might include what clients we work with, what values that we align with, for our team and clients. But then having that boundary and in how we communicate, and when we communicate, is going to help us guard our emotional and mental mental states. Time boundaries are going to help us decide when we're going to be available for our team and for our clients. What is that space that we're going to allow for our team members to hold in our lives? And for our clients? What space are they going to hold for them boundaries that might also look like financial boundaries? So how much am I willing to spend on different areas of my business? And I don't think a lot of people when I hear the topic of boundaries, in the entrepreneurship space, or even in the personal development space, the one area that I don't hear talked a lot about is the financial boundary. So how much am I willing to spend on getting outside help? In my business? How much am I willing to spend on getting outside help for my family, and for me, personally, you know, I have a pretty tight boundary that I hold personally, and I've really struggled with this one. Throughout the years, I've always wanted to have somebody come and clean my house. And it sounds so silly, that I absolutely refuse to do it. And this is both a financial boundary, like I just every time I go to write that check, I think of being able to invest that money like into the stock market, or there's some type of investment and the boundary that I want to hold with my, with my kids and what I want them to partake in, in the house. And so it creates a financial boundary that I've set in, in my home. And so you might have other financial boundaries on how much you're willing to spend, and what things are willing to spend money on. Does that make sense? Yes, absolutely. The non negotiables I think we should all have like things that we absolutely hold steady on no matter what. And this might be working weekends, this might be answering emails past five o'clock, it might be text messaging. So text messaging is a big one for me. So my non negotiable is that I don't text message with clients ever. And this is something that we've struggled with is getting my cell phone number off of everything, it was really easy when we started the business to put my cell phone number everywhere. And that was fine. When we started out I didn't I didn't mind it. But now it's become non negotiable for me to have clients texting either either myself or team members, nights, weekends, and that we can hold that boundary and that email is our form of communication with all clients. And then if clients want to submit a request or an issue or something that they need assistance on that are always sent via email, so that our team can set their own boundaries on when and how they're able to get back to their clients.
Yeah, I think that is really important in the new work from home worlds, like having those boundaries to protect your time and protect, you know, your free time, your time when you're not working. Because working from home, those lines really do get blurred.
They sure do. Absolutely. And this isn't just for business owners. I think this episode is for everyone. Right? So your team members that are working with you. They are having the same work from home boundary issues as well. And so respecting our team and asking you, are you okay with me sending this message or respecting that maybe you schedule like if you're working over the weekend that you schedule, send everything for Monday morning. And I'm sorry, to my team, I always say that I'm going to do it and I never do it. But I don't expect a response. Right. So I've communicated with our team, I don't expect anyone to respond to me, even if I'm catching up on a Saturday morning. And so making sure that you're really clearly communicating with your team, the contractors that you're working with and your clients, what is your communication? And what are your expectations around that communication so that they can help respect your boundaries, and you can respect theirs?
Yeah, I think this is a big place where business owners can really lead their team by example. And you know, your team kind of takes on and adopts your habits. So if you're clear about your boundaries, they feel comfortable enforcing their own boundaries.
Absolutely. Very good point. Thank you. Yeah. Good point. So when I was thinking about coming into 2023, with my year of No, I was trying to explore, how do I decide what I'm going to say? Yes. And what I'm going to say no to and so I had created a list of questions to ask myself. And so I wanted to share this with the audience so that you can use these same questions to decide what you're going to say yes to and what you're going to say no to. So questions for you as the business owner, what is your current role in your business? What is the current seat that you hold? So are you strictly the CEO and leader of your organization? Are you client facing? Are you actually directly servicing clients? Are you leading to specific team members? So what is the role in your business? What seats do you hold? And then when are you willing to work? Right? So being really clear on, you know, you might not want to work nine to five every day? And so what are the times that you are going to start and end your day? So that you are really clear? And then what are you responsible for? And like, what are the actual physical tasks that you are responsible for? And what are the deadlines to those tasks? If you are the CEO and leader of your company, you still have tasks and deadlines. If you are client facing, you definitely have tasks and deadlines. So what are you responsible for? And then what are your non-negotiables? So setting up vacations, maybe workouts, meditations like, what are your non negotiables for yourself, so that you can create those boundaries, this just recently came up in our business. So I have very clear start and end times to my day. And I prefer not to hold any external meetings until after 10 o'clock. So my first hour of the day is really just understanding what tasks are needed, going through my email getting organized, you know, thought provoking work, like really just an hour of uninterrupted time. And then I spend an hour kind of internal mic, really setting my team up for success for the day. So nine to 10 is setting the team up. So I don't want to actually hold out any external meetings until after 10 o'clock. And we had some meetings being scheduled at 435 which would have kept me at my desk until 536 o'clock and so we needed to communicate as a leadership team because I I've responsible for some some tasks that both Kelsey and I both handle and so we needed to be clear, on my days what time I needed those those meetings to stop. And then Kelsey needed to be clear on what days and times or she needed her meetings to stop. So by understanding how we wanted our day to be set up, getting super clear for ourselves, allowed us to be super clear for each other and now we can all respect that.
Yeah, I think that is is a good point of a lot of times, especially you know, as the business owner when you are still in some of those other seats, that when you're overlapping with other people, they need to know they need to know your boundaries and you need to know theirs that way. Nothing gets caught in that gray area.
Yeah, it's okay to be really clear and you know, it's okay to not not be okay with upsetting other people. But just knowing what your boundaries are right shouldn't upset anybody because you're just being really clear. And I think I've asked for clarity from our team members as well. And it's nothing for me to be upset about. It's just being super clear about when you pick up your kids, right, so what time do you need to sign off? For the evening so that I can respect that boundary for you. And so again, it's not it's not necessarily being okay with upsetting people, it's being okay with holding that boundary for them. And just what's going to be upsetting is if nobody's clear about what time and day and what your role is, I really appreciate that. Kevin, our EOS implementer, keeps on asking me the same question over and over again. And I really appreciate it. He keeps on saying, Well, what is the idea? Like what does your vision for success look like? You know, it doesn't have to be in the future, it just has to be like, doesn't have to be 10 years, it doesn't have to be five years. Just what does success look like? And that will help you ask these questions of yourself: what is your role? What seat do you hold? And then what are your time expectations so that you can then set yourself up for success?
Yeah, I always go back to something that I'm sure you've said on the podcast before is clear, is kind. And so you really have to be clear and set up those expectations from the beginning because then there's nothing to ever be upset about. And then you're on the right track moving forward.
Yeah. So I learned that from Shelly Warren with stalking your team podcast, we participated in her leadership lab program, a year or so ago. And that's something that she said over and over again, that that clear is kind No, Kevin is another one that talks about clarity. So many people talk about that, because it's true, right? It is allowing our team members to be set up for success. Alright, some other questions to ask yourself, if you are not just leading your team, as the CEO and leader of your business, if you are also working directly with clients, we have a few questions for you to ask yourself when setting client boundaries, and that do your clients values aligned with your company's values? And this might include asking yourself questions such as Do they pay on time? Do they value your services? Do they ask for tasks that are outside of scope? Do they value your time and energy? And they treat you and your team as experts, right? Going back to do they value your work? And these are the questions that will help you decide if this is a client that you want to continue to work with. Just because a client is willing to work with us doesn't mean that we need to work with them. We have said no to clients in the past. And we will continue to do that. Because we want to find people who align with our core values. We live and breathe our core values here at kickstart. And so we need to make sure that we are aligning with clients who fit those core values as well.
Yeah, I think that it's hard to not get caught up in wanting the client and wanting to close the sale. And you know, new clients are always exciting, but you have to be able to step back and make sure that they're the right fit for your business.
Yeah, absolutely. All right, let's go through our questions on financial boundaries. So first and foremost, we talked a little bit about understanding the seat that you hold in your business, and creating what your vision for success looks like. This is also understanding what is your intention for your business? And what do I mean by that? There's a lot of talk in the industry about do you have a lifestyle business or do you have a hobby income side hustle? Or is this a business that really supports you and your family? Are you the breadwinner for your family and so understanding what your intention is for your business is going to help you lead financially in the direction that you need to for your family for you as a business owner. So if you have to have your income to support your family, the way that we hold our financial boundaries, it's going to be much firmer than if we have maybe a hobby income or or a business that doesn't isn't needed to sustain our family's lifestyle and then having a lifestyle business so knowing that you can pick up and travel or work whenever and wherever that's going to help you hold very specific boundaries in your in your business and the way that you communicate and the way that you spend money and get support in your business. I hope you're enjoying another amazing episode of entrepreneur money stories. I had to interrupt to tell you about one of our favorite financial management tools, the profit planner book series. Do you want to begin managing your business finances but don't really know where to start? Our profit planner book series is a perfect way for you to learn how to properly manage the finances of your business, from planning to execution. Start with profit planner foundations as a beginner friendly financial planner that educates you on each aspect of your bookkeeping and then jump right into Profit plan of financials, where we walk you through our proprietary framework for understanding your financials. If you're ready to learn how to use your finances to make better informed decisions, and the key performance indicators you need to track to know your numbers, then the profit planner is the right tool for you. If you're ready to commit text Prophet planner to 844-499-6969, again, text profit planner 844-499-6969. All right now back to the episode. In order to look at how you're holding financial boundaries, we need to make sure that we have a few things in place in order to be able to do that, right. So we can't just make up financial boundaries without knowing our numbers. So it's really important as we start to think about financial boundaries that we are thinking about, what is our financial intention, and our budget and our financial goals for this year, and maybe the next few years. Financial intention means am I reinvesting every dollar that I make back into the business so that, you know me, if I'm in a high growth mode, maybe I need to take every dollar of profit and reinvest that back into the business, so that we can sustain that growth and be able to continue to invest in brand awareness, marketing, podcasting, right, whatever that might, might be. But now that I have set that intention, I'm in high growth mode, I can hold a very specific boundary in my business. Now, if my goal, and my budget says that I'm going to be profitable this year, so that I can create a long term sustainable business and take on the salary that I need to to support my family, I've now set a very different intention and boundary for my financial decisions. I have to make financial decisions, knowing that my goal is to be profitable. And it allows me to say no, and hold that line. Alright, we have to determine how much and when we will pay ourselves. And I always like the analogy, when you're flying, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first, to be able to help others.
Yeah, I think that is something that you can apply in all aspects of your life. Like, I know, I don't have kids, but I know you do. But like you can't be the best mother you can be if you're not taking care of yourself first.
Absolutely. Yeah, yes, we can apply this in all areas of our life, and also financially, right, because we can't pay our employees. Well, our contractors, well, unless we know that we are taking care of ourselves, right, there's only going to be so much time and energy that you can put into a business that you're doing for free, right that you are not reaping any financial benefits from. So deciding now, how much and when you will pay yourself will help you again, hold the financial boundaries of what you're going to say yes to and what you're going to say no to, I want to talk about debt. And we're going to do an entire series around debt later this year. But determining what your stance on debt is before you need it is really important. And I know there's a whole I'm gonna call it the Dave Ramsey culture of that no debt is considered good debt. And that's okay, if that is your view on debt. And you will have to make that decision. If there's a time in your business where you have to take on debt to support growth, you'll have to process that and decide whether or not you want to adhere to that core value. Or if that's something that you are willing to ebb and flow and change as your business grows. So just understanding what your stance on debt is, before you need it, you don't want to be in that moment where you need debt. And you haven't set out what your core value is, or your boundary is around that. I'll share my stance as an accounting and financial professional. I think debt is a really beautiful mechanism to be able to support the growth of any business. I highly suggest our clients have access to a line of credit or even access to you know, American Express has the cabbage loans or stripe, QuickBooks PayPal, a lot of these different software providers are allowing for different loan options. And so I encourage our clients to always have access to some type of debt facility so that when you have an opportunity for business growth, that you're able to take that business opportunity and then prioritize right Paying that debt.
Yeah, I think, you know, and it's hard because debt is it, especially with Dave Ramsey. And, you know, there's a lot of people who have a lot of strong opinions on debt. So it's hard to remove the negative connotation with that. But it's an opportunity, it's an opportunity to sustain your growth. And, you know, the boundary can help you like, not go over the amount of debt that you're comfortable with, you know, going into it that if you need it, you're allowing yourself to have it,
I like that you're allowing yourself to have it, you've established what your boundary is. So that when you've come up to that opportunity for growth or that opportunity, you can decide with confidence how you'll make that decision, that also includes things like lending other people money and contributing to charity. So having a very clear financial stance on will you be the type of employer to lend money to employees? Will you be the type of business owner who lends money to other businesses or to family members? What is your stance so that it's really super clear? Before you're confronted with that, that situation? So I decided really early on in this business, that we would actually not hire family members. And so it made it really clear to be able to hold that boundary, my aunt has tried to work for us several times. And I've just been very clear that we don't hire family members. And it was, it was easy for me to hold that boundary with her. Because we had a clear boundary set beforehand. And this is the same with charity and gift giving. I know there's tax incentives for charity and gift giving. And I know that we all want to be able to give back, you know, as we succeed, we want to be able to, to give back to the groups in which we connect with on a deeper level. However, as a business owner, you're approached with this a lot, right? Like, there's a lot of different charities and groups, and especially if you have a local business, local donations that will be coming to you looking for charity donations. And so if you can have a very clear set boundary with prepared answers, it's going to allow you to be able to hold that boundary when they come in to ask you, and I'm okay with you using us as part of your boundary. We have a local client here who she used to say to her, she had a brick and mortar. So when people came into the shop, she would just say, Oh, I'm sorry, I've actually already hit my annual quota for the year, I am not able to donate any additional funds, as per my account, right?” So my account only allows me so many dollars. And so I've already I've already hit that allotment. And so I've allowed her to be able to very clearly hold that boundary. And I just want to say that are a reminder that temporary guilt beats long term resentment. So just because that guilt is there does not mean that you are doing something unkind, you're allowed to say no to things that don't make you feel comfortable, right? Maybe it's a charity that you don't want to give to or that you're not confident that they're using their funds in the best way. By having these set answers and boundaries, you can be really clear.
Yeah, I think that is a tough one. Because we all want to get back and especially in your own community. So there can be that guilt. It's like when you walk past the Girl Scouts at the grocery store. And you know, if you're already prepared with your answers, you don't fall into that trap of venue like you feel like you have to say yes to everybody.
Yes, it's okay to say no, you can say my word of the year now. I've tried it a few times and people just laugh. Alright, working to understand our emotional spending and incorporating your strategies to deal with your emotions so that you can hold this profitability boundary in your business, right? So, again, what was your intention for this year? If it's profitable, then we need to understand our emotional spending. And we have to incorporate other strategies to deal with our emotions. This is a really real issue. Like we see this a lot with our clients. And it's okay, there's no judgment at all whatsoever here. But I want you to find healthier mechanisms to be able to work through your emotions, you know, maybe it's going for a walk every day working out meditation, talking to your money team, finding other ways to work through those emotions so that you are not reacting in your business. And I don't want to say don't react in your business, like don't react in your personal life either. So tune back into the emotional spending episode, I will make sure that it's linked in the show notes so that you can go back to listen and learn what emotional spending is, and how you can incorporate those strategies so that you can hold this financial boundary.
One thing that we did talk about in that episode that I would like to bring back here is that 48 Hour Rule, and I think this can be applied to a lot of these, like maybe your boundary to help keep you from reacting is that 48 hours. And, you know, you can even go back to the the last one with charity, like, I'll have to think on that, I'll respond in 48 hours like that, that can be your boundary so that you have time to process everything before, before you're responding before you're making a purchase.
I got a great point, because I'm always an automatic guest. So by saying it automatically, I need eight hours. So that becomes your automatic response, I will get back to you in 48 hours, and it allows you to process your emotions and come back with I have to reflect back on my boundaries, and then and then be able to respond in a really clear way. Thank you for that. Alright, lastly, I just want to touch on accountability, because this is going to help us structure how we stay within our boundaries, hiring within our budget, creating spending initiatives, meeting with our money team. These are all strategies to help hold you accountable within creating these financial boundaries. So understanding your numbers, read your emails from your money team, look at the financial overview that they're sending you. So that you can be really clear on what your intentions are, and create those spending initiatives that will allow you to meet your goal for the year, your intention for the year, and then hire your team members and consultants. Within that budget.
I want to leave you all with a few steps to clear action steps to help you create boundaries in your business, right. I love action. And I want everybody to be able to leave every single podcast episode with your clear steps on how to move forward. So step one, well, let's reflect on what our intention is for this year. Write it down, Step two is to write down your reflection. Go back and re-listen to this episode. And write the answers down to each of the questions that we asked. That's why we did this in a q&a format. So you can really specifically write these down for yourself. And step three is to be very clear and specific with others. I guess I would also say be very clear and specific with yourself. And then others let's be firm and direct. Right? So we talked about the clearest kind, we can be firm and direct number five is do not negotiate. Once we have set these boundaries in place. We don't have to negotiate that this isn't something that we have to explain away. I number six is we do not have to apologize, do not apologize. You do not have to negotiate your boundaries, and you do not have to apologize for them. Number seven, I want you to share them and get accountability. email this to your money team so that you can help you so that your money team can help you hold these boundaries in your business. And lastly, I want you to set clear expectations. set clear expectations with your money team, your staff members and your family if you need to have your finances by a specific date of the month because you are meeting with your business coach or you're meeting with your husband or your wife, your family. Or you have a specific day that you'd like to review your finances on. set clear expectations with your money team so that they can help you in these boundaries. Be very clear with your staff members and set the expectations with them. Maybe it's time tracking expectations. Maybe it's spending expectations that are really clear so that they are on the same page with you. And let's not forget about our family. I know where we focus on on entrepreneurs and in business on the show. But we can't forget that we all have a family life and we can create the same boundaries with our A family and then set really clear expectations for them so that they're on the same page with us as well.
Yeah, your boundaries should really guide you and not only like in your decision making, but it should also guide you towards your goals and your intentions. So as long as you are clear from the beginning, then you're setting yourself up for success and not disappointment.
Absolutely. Well, I hope this episode today was helpful. I hope all of you can embrace the bits and pieces of No, of our financial boundaries, especially, again, not something that we talk enough about is how to hold those financial boundaries. So we would love to hear from you, you can send us a DM on Instagram at kickstart accounting. If you would be so helpful to share this episode with one other business owner that needs this resource. This is a free resource that we put out for our clients, our team members and for you as a business owner and your team. So please share this episode with one other team member that would mean the world to us. And don't forget to hit like and subscribe. I don't want you to miss out on any new episodes. We have so many exciting guests and so much content that's coming out over the next few months. And so I don't want you to miss out hit like and subscribe. And Victoria, thank you so much for being here again.
Thank you for having me.
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